I was dreading Wednesday this week, to the point I totally freaked out on Tuesday night thinking about it - we're talking tears, I'm not good enough's, I'm a bad mother's - the works. All because I was being forced to endure the thing I feared the most - a day on my own with the children.
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| This time last year |
I used to be fine on these days. We would play, go for walks, learn and have a lovely time together. Then PND hit and it went south. Nowadays I avoid them like the plague. However all friends were busy, my mum was away and my in-laws had already had the children Monday and Tuesday for me and I don't like to push them too much.
So Wednesday arrived and I dragged myself out of bed, as is the norm these days. We had breakfast, the children played and I felt OK. Really OK. I considered a walk and thought, yes I can manage that. So we got dressed and we went out for a walk.
It was lovely. A great autumn day. We went to our local park, which is pretty limited but still there's a swing and a slide and it's better than being stuck indoors. Then we went on a leaf collecting walk. H jumped in puddles, pointed out trees, leaves and berries to me and chattered away happily.
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| Our leaf collection |
To some these days are normal, as they were at one stage for me. But lately they are a rare delight. A day when I have the energy to get the children dressed, get them outside and enjoy them.
A day I felt like me again. It was wonderful.
