A Fifth Birthday

December is always an exciting month as we are definitely a family who loves Christmas and all its magic, however there is another reason we celebrate the final month of the year and that is our little lady's birthday. This time she turned five years old, which seems so huge to me as it doesn't feel like that time since she was that tiny baby in my arms.

Why I'll Be Glad When My Daughter Goes To School Full Time

Like many parents, last week I dressed my four year old in her new school uniform, tied her hair in matching bobbles, took the obligatory photos whilst she stood and posed for me and then nervously dropped her off with a group of strangers in a new environment to start the next journey in her life. I waited outside the school gates, holding her little hand, I reassured her as I left her in a room full of strangers and I walked back home alone to an empty house.

Yet inside I was praying for the next week to come, when she would be in school from nine until three, instead of returning home before lunchtime.

Let me get this straight, I adore my children and I work hard to be the best parent I can be. But they exhaust me, completely and utterly. From the minute they scream mummy at me at anything from 6am until the moment the lay their heads in the pillow after fighting with me at bedtime, I am worn out.

I play with them as much as I can, I take them for days out, I educate them, I cuddle them, I help them to grow. But as I do this my energy drains away and often my sanity and by the end of the day I can often be left just a shell, desperate for a moment to myself. I have headaches, I have memory loss, I have to drag myself out of bed almost literally. I struggle to feed myself due to low energy, a shower can make me dizzy and the house is a tip around me.

The reason behind all this? I have chronic fatigue. I have had it for two years now and whilst I manage it a lot better than I used to, I still find most days a struggle.

It has been an uphill battle to try and manage the every day symptoms and I have had many a setback. It is emotionally devastating realising how limited you are and how little you can do now. When once I climbed mountains, now the stairs wipe me out. Throw two young and demanding children into the mix and the days can seem endless and my parenting skills hopeless. The guilt is never-ending.

So if you see me at the school gates, hair slung back, make up loaded on to cover the bags under my eyes and not a tear to be shed, please don't judge me. I love my children more than anything, I am just living in the haze of an illness that is impossible to see but is debilitating at times. After I drop off my little girl and walk home to an empty house, it is with a guilty but lighter heart as it means I can lay down and rest. And maybe when I wake up I may have a little more energy to run around the park with her after school, rather than sitting on the sidelines as I often do. A little more energy to be the mum I want to be.

Time Gone By

Four years, eight months ago our lives changed. At the time we were living in a foreign country, just the two of us, in our little bubble taking on the world together. We planned and we prepared and we dreamt of what to expect, of course we couldn't comprehend without experience how different things would be.

Learning To Swim

When we booked this year's summer holiday last August it felt like an age away. As the new year came round we realised that it was only five months, and now nearing the middle of February it's even closer - 80 days according to my My First Choice app!

Four Years Old

I am about a month late with this post, but back in December our little girl turned four. FOUR. Every parent says it, we hear it from our own parents, but I cannot believe how quickly these years pass by. The day she was born and those newborns days are still so firmly etched in my memory that I feel I can almost touch them, and yet here we are four years on.

Doc Mcstuffins Carry Along Clinic Review

For the past week we have been trying out the new Doc McStuffins Carry Along Clinic from Flair, so today I am sharing our thoughts on it.

To My Babies: 2014

Dear Miss H & Little J

For the last five days I have been away from you, which is the longest time I have spent away from either of you since you were born. Daddy was in charge and in between nursery and grandma you were looked after for me whilst I had a little break. We Facetime'd every night and you seemed happy and relaxed without mummy by your side. In fact it didn't seem like you missed me at all, although daddy reassures me you did.

Review: Rockabilly Toothbrush

Brushing teeth has always been an important part of the children's routine for me, however it has been met with many a battle. At firs the kids love it and think it is a great novelty, then you practically have to pin them down when that novelty wears off. As they get older they need encouraging to actually brush rather than suck the toothpaste off and this can be met with more challenges.

An Interview with Little H

Today's vlog features Little H! You asked, she answered - plus you can learn all about the Popsy dance!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Three Years Old

For H

 Yesterday, my love, you turned three

Our baby girl has grown

Three! How could it possibly be?

Since the day we brought you home

Seems like only yesterday

That I cradled you on my knee

Oh I can't believe my eyes right now

My little girl is three

Since then we've watched as you have grown

From first smiles to laughs to strides

It wasn't long before we knew

You'd stolen our hearts inside

Now today you run and play with friends

I can feel the tears run free

Oh I can't believe my eyes right now

My little girl is three

We will watch you close and pick you up

We'll forever be there for you

Through first friends, loves and broken hearts

You can rely we'll see you through

So believe me when I tell you now

We are so proud of all you can be

Oh I can't believe my eyes right now

My little girl is three

*This is my interpretation on 'A Song for my Daughter'

Winter Holidays

Last week myself, Mr H, Little H and Baby J embarked on a week long holiday with some friends of ours. We decided to head to Fuerteventura, supposedly a winter resort, and opted for a private villa so our little ones could run around to their hearts' content. With five children under four, between four adults we knew it would be hectic, but were greatly looking forward to it and it did not disappoint.

The kids were great on the plane - as we clambered on with babies swinging around our necks and boisterous toddlers running off ahead I'm sure the plane groaned in unison, but after the 4.5 hour flight most passengers commented on how good they all were, which was a huge relief. Once we had collected our luggage and buggies our destination was only a short 15 minute taxi ride away.

The lovely villa we stayed at was in the area of Caleta and overlooked a golf course, with sea views beyond. There was a private pool, which was fenced off, which was a great idea as it meant we didn't have to dive after the toddlers every two minutes, particularly J who has no fears and a skill of finding the most dangerous activity he can.

The weather was up and down, fortunately we didn't have any rain, but most days were a mixture of sun and cloud. We didn't let that put us off though and enjoyed the beach, pool and a spot of sunbathing when the little ones had a nap.

The mummies and daddies even managed a cheeky night out each and naughtily rolled in at 4am slightly worse for wear! We mainly BBQ'd, but did manage a lovely meal out on our last night and the older children loved staying up late and having a dance.

I have to say, it was strange to come home to Christmas just around the corner, it's a good job I got organised with my present buying beforehand! Overall we had a lovely week away, although I think the adults all need another holiday to recover!

Poetry For Toddlers

I have always loved poetry and as a teenager full of angst I wrote tons of poems, and now have teams of them up in the loft.

When I saw the new Tots 100 Center Parcs poetry challenge I thought I would use it as a prompt to include H in some poetry fun. As she is nearly three, she is still too young to really understand poetry. but by creating a found poem and putting together a list of words it made it an activity she could join in.

Last week we went on a lovely autumn walk and collected lots of leaves, which we are part-way through making a garland out of. We gathered together some of the leaves, some pens and some coloured paper and had a little chat about our walk.

I asked H about the leaves - they were crunchy, circles, had spots on, and were various colours. 

We talked about the walk - she wore her news shoes, we skipped, walked, collected and were silly. We saw a birdie. It was a long walk.

I then added some joining words such as and, the and in.

Once I had written them on strips of paper (with H choosing which colour paper and pen I used), we gathered all the words together, went in the front room and H threw them in the air (a bit like leaves falling from the tree).

Once they were all mixed up she passed them to me one by one. I lined them up and then moved a couple down onto the next line and our autumn poem was complete:

"Spots walked a lot

Green, purple collecting

Crunchy. Yellow.

In long walk silly skip.

Birdie circles!

The new shoes and leaves"

*This is my entry to the Center Parcs and Tots 100 November challenge. If I’m chosen, I would like to visit Sherwood Forest

Chester Zoo - Then & Now

On Sunday we were invited to visit Chester Zoo by the very generous people at Matalan. After a spell of rain and central heating we were graced with a lovely, sunny day! Unfortunately due to said rain, we were completely unprepared for the heat and I ended up sweating my *ahem* toes off in my winter boots! But I digress...

Ballerina Girl

Source

Over the last two and a half year H has owned a couple of tutu's - her last one being for her second birthday. However I have always wanted to put her in one of those you see that just take your breath away. You know the ones, big swirly skirt, lots of layers. The kind you always wanted yourself as a little girl, and even now would love to own one just to twirl and twirl in.

Sea Creatures

I seem to have had water beads sat on my worktop for weeks now! They have so many uses and I have been reluctant to throw them away. However I think Mr H has got sick of seeing them, so as one last playtime I picked out all the water colours (which took ages!) and created a little ocean scene for H.

I added her sea creatures to the beads, along with some shaving foam for effect and away she went.

H is still at an age where she needs showing to play sometimes, so I got into it myself and we made a story where the baby seal had gone missing and mummy seal tried to find it, encountering sharks and such along the way. She thought this was great fun and once I had taken my turn she was quite happy to reenact the story herself, with different animals.

She wasn't so keen on the shaving foam at first and wanted her hands wiping, but once I showed her that it didn't matter if her hands got a little messy she seemed to forget about it and got carried away in her play.

This was a very quick playtime to set up and kept her entertained for quite a while. It was also fun for mummy to join in!

 

Today Ghostwritermummy is hosting Messy Play for Matilda Mae, so head over there and give her some love!

Phobias

The other day we went to our local reservoir to feed the ducks. It is a well-known spot for this activity and as a result the ducks are very tame and VERY huge! I chose a spot that wasn't used as the main feeding location, thinking maybe not quite so many ducks would flood to our feet and maybe they wouldn't be quite as...eager. I was wrong.

Water Bead Play

A few weeks ago I came across the fantastic site, How To Train Up A Child. Filled with tons of play ideas for little ones, it is now my go-to guide for inspiration!

When I saw a post on water beads, lights and eggs, I had to give it a try so I jumped on eBay and ordered away. They arrived quickly but it took me a few days to decide how many water beads  I needed for a good play, so first we tried the eggs and lights out. Today it was the beads' turn!

We pulled out H's sand table and along with the plastic eggs, cups and a couple of spoons, set to play. Unfortunately due to J's tendency to chew anything and everything he had to watch on, much to his frustration.

H loved touching the beads and the first thing she did was start squishing them under her hands.

She then set to work transferring them into plastic cups with the different spoons...

...and then between hands.

However she had the most fun throwing them on the floor, watching them bounce and roll!

Fortunately this isn't a messy activity and can be easily cleared away once they've had enough.

I would definitely recommend this for your toddler, it was great fun, in fact I ordered a load more beads today, ready for some Easter fun!

To My Babies

Dear Little H & Baby J

It has been two years and two months since between you, you first changed our lives. Those 40 hours, which seemed so long at the time, now seem such a long time ago. A time when we were not mummy and daddy, but just us, preparing ourselves for our new roles. Back then we were living in California, in a three bedroom apartment and a long way from home. That time in America gave us a chance to enjoy our time together alone and get to know each other that little bit more as well as confirmed for us how happy we were with our lives at home in England. It also changed us in one significant way - it brought you to us.

We had been waiting four long years for you, Baby Girl. We had even come to think that you weren't meant to be ours and were starting to prepare ourselves to never be parents. It turns out you were there all along, biding your time and waiting until we were ready to be the best the parents we could be. Waiting for the time when we were at our happiest, strongest and most stable. Before then I don't think we were ready, and you knew this, so gave us time.

What you brought us was the happiest of moments. You were such a good baby, slept well, fed well and had the cheeriest of manners. You filled our hearts with your sunny nature and despite the terrible twos, this has never changed. You charm everyone with your beautiful, sunny nature. My favourite time of day is snuggling next to you and singing your favourites - 'Twinkle Twinkle', 'Baa Baa Black Sheep' and 'How Much Is That Doggy' - as I tuck you in.

As we sailed along as a threesome, you had other ideas, Little Man. You were a cheeky surprise that we were thrilled to discover. After only nine months since the arrival of your big sister, and two months after we returned home to England, you decided to shake things up. And that cheekiness can be seen every day - in your smile, the way you sneak up on your big sister as she plays (much to her discernment) and the way you giggle when we play peekaboo. That dimple-filled smile peering over your cot on a morning is hard to resist. You made our family truly complete.

So here's a little note to you my babies. To let you know how precious you are to us. How you fill every day with wonder. And how we wouldn't be us without you. I promise every day to tell you I love you, to make sure you are secure and happy and keep a little piece of you in my heart with every step I take.

All our love, darlings, now and forever.

Mummy & Daddy


Little H turns two!

On December 19th our little lady turned two years old! No longer a baby, we now enter the terrible two stage! I can't believe it is two years since that long weekend in America when she finally arrived into our lives.

Well Little H is definitely a strong character and knows her own mind. She can often be found bossing Mummy and Daddy around - 'sit down Daddy' or 'colour Mummy' are common commands! Of course we willingly oblige (usually!). Tantrums are becoming me of an occurrence although she's not as bad as I've heard she could be. She generally throws herself onto the floor and just lays there sulking. Maybe she takes after her mummy a little there? Just lately she has been found nose-first in cupboards and most recently has sneaked a chocolate rabbit out and I found her covered in it. There has also been an incident of being discovered mouth-full with toothpaste when she found her way upstairs without me realising!

She is back to sleeping twelve hours through the night, but now plays until about 8.30 in her room, until she is ready to sleep. This can mean a lie-in for mummy though so who are we to challenge it! We have just started potty training, but as mummy isn't willing to have accidents on her new beige carpet, it is slow going. She has amassed five stickers on her reward chart so far though.

She loves her little brother to bits, although she's not quite as keen when he charges over and grabs all her perfectly lined up toys! She is learning to share though and will give him one of her toys whilst she plays with the rest. Quite often recently I've found them chasing each other or hiding in a den together, giggling away. It is lovely to see them playing together.

We are so proud of our baby girl, and every day I tell her to stop growing up! I do love this age, although it does come with it's trials. She still comes for cuddles, wants me to play with her and has such a childlike innocence and joy with every new discovery. I try to relish all these special moments as I know this stage won't last forever.

Love you, baby girl!

.

Transitioning From Cot to Bed - How We Did It

With Baby Boy due in three short weeks, Mr H and undecided some time ago to try and get Little H into a bed before he arrives on the scene. There seemed no point buying a second cot for the short time H will need one and I didn't want to risk having two babies up through the night if she doesn't settle straight away.

From Mummy & Daddy's Bed