In my family it is a well-known fact that I am a big sleeper. I slept through from six weeks, throughout my schools days my mum would curse me as I dragged myself out of bed at the last minute and as an adult I literally can get up and be ready to leave the house in five minutes, not willing to leave the comfort and warmth for a little more time to gathe myself together. During my first pregnancy I would have about fourteen hours sleep a day (of course, I wasn't working at this time or this wouldn't have been possible!) and still have to wake myself in the morning to get up.
So when I fell pregnant with Little H it was a huge concern of mine how I would deal with a significant reduction in my sleep. I actually surprised myself, I think you just get on with because you have to, and I always tried to nap when she did. However the second time around it was more difficult to find time to rest as I had H to look after and I did find the tiredness hard. However nothing has prepared me for how tired I would be looking after two under two years and still getting broken sleep seven months down the line!
I managed the only way I could - still napping when they did. Whilst other stay at home mums were catching up with housework, taking a break for themselves or undertaking other important tasks, I was sleeping. I found if I didn't I was no good for the kids in the afternoon. I would be too tired to do much with them and often snappy with little patience. It worked for us.
That's not to say that I didn't feel guilty about it. It's accepted that with a newborn you should try and sleep when they do. But when your child is seven months old its not quite the same. I definitely felt like I should be downstairs doing jobs, cooking tea and whatever else is expected of me whilst I am not working.
Baby J is just sleeping through (by about two weeks) and so I am only now just getting a full nights sleep, however I am finding myself still tired. And still napping. My tired brain which is now in a habit of getting an hour or two in the afternoon cannot cope without it. And neither can me, my sanity and therefore my kids.
However I do feel very guilty about it. Guilty for the amount of time I spend in bed, for one thing - I feel like I sleep my life away! Guilty that I'm not getting on with jobs I should be doing whilst Mr H is at work himself. Guilty that even though I have those naps I am still so damn tired all the time. I keep wondering if it is normal to need this much sleep and be this tired?
I just hope neither of my children have inherited this trait. At the moment H sleeps well and always has, but doesn't always want to go to bed - I think that's normal for any child though! Baby J sleeps when he eventually goes down, but has always fought it and often screams his head off before he finally gives up the ghost.
So as my babies settle their heads to give their mind a rest, I am next door doing the same. Does anyone else out there still go for naps like me? Please tell me I'm not alone!