Life Update: July 2018

It's been a good long whilst since I wrote much about how we are all doing, and that's probably because it's been such a roller coaster ride over the last few years it's hard to know where to start. But here goes...

Holly is now seven and Jack is six and this week they have doing their 'moving up' days at school where they try out their new classes. Holly is moving up to key stage 2 in September, which is just nuts, and Jack will be in his final year of key stage 1. Their classrooms are now in different buildings which makes dropping them off and collecting them fun, and also just highlights that Holly is in the next stage at school. Someone mentioned today that in the same amount of time since Holly was born she will be getting on for sixteen!!

Happy 6th Birthday To My Boy!

I say it with every year that passes, as I'm sure most parents do (including my mum despite my sister and I being in our thirties), but I can't believe my boy is six! Whilst the days can sometimes drag by, the years have flown and it only seems like yesterday that we brought our little man home from hospital, with his crinkly old man face, in a car seat first used by his big sister to a lovely welcome from my sister and my mum who had been waiting all day for us.

Is It Ever OK To Argue In Front Of Children?

Is arguing in front of your children ever a good thing? Is it healthy for them to see conflict and know life isn't like a Disney film, or does it cause them unnecessary upset and stress that we as parents should shelter them from? It's something I've gone back and forth on since I became a mum.

Please Leave The Light On Mummy

For some reason, since Holly started back at school in September she has had trouble at bedtime. Since she was a baby she fell into a great routine and always seemed to thrive by that. At three years old she would use her Gro Clock to tell what time it was, and turn her light out at whatever number I said with very little prompting. She never kicked up a fuss, she loved her bed and unlike her brother, was amazing at going to sleep.

No trouble aged two

Four months ago that all changed. I'm not sure what triggered it, but it hasn't been an easy adjustment for her or us and bedtimes have become something I dread. Holly now refuses to go to sleep and it seems no matter how much cuddling or soothing I do she doesn't drop off until she's literally tired out. She's been telling me she doesn't like being on her own, she doesn't like her bed and that she's scared of the dark and it has literally got to the point where we are both in tears and I just haven't known what to do to fix it.

Three years ago we went on holiday to Cornwall and as Jack was only two and not used to sleeping in a bed with no sides, which is all we had there, we would leave the lounge light on so he could see in the night. From then on he always needed the halfway light on at home, so then of course Holly got used to it. Neither of them will now let me shut their bedroom doors on a night and if they wake up and I've turned the light out they get upset.

Excited about her new bed, aged three

It's now escalated that Holly needs a light on to go to sleep. My mum bought her a lamp before Christmas and this has transformed bedtime, but I'm not sure how happy this makes me. On one hand she is back to her old self, going to sleep when it's the right time and not constantly shouting down. On the other hand I can't see how getting used to having a light on is a good thing.

Right now we are just going with it - I cannot be trekking up and down the stairs every few minutes until 10pm and she needs her sleep. Maybe this light stops the monsters and reassures her she is safe and if that is the way, then so be it. This parenting malarky is so trial and error, I'm never sure whether I'm doing it wrong or not, and that is often the hardest part. All I can do is my best and hope that I've got it right.

Aged six

Girl Problems At Five Years Old

As a child I had girl problems. I was shy, I was weak, I did as I was told and I never questioned people. I became an easy target and whilst I did have a little bit of a spark that refused to be put out, for the most part my schooldays very quickly made me a shadow of my former self. They were my worst days and it has taken me fifteen years to move on from them. Almost. I'm still a work in progress. When I became a mum, one of my biggest fears became my daughter going through the same experiences.

Those Tiny Moments

In a few short weeks I will be waving my youngest off at the school gates for the first time and will really and truly say goodbye to those tiny baby days. As a mum you envisage these moments, and often wish for time to speed up and get there, but once you do you only want time to stop.

Stop to reflect on those tiny moments of days, months, years ago when your children were but tiny flutters in your tummy and you dreamt of who they would be, what they would look like and how in love you would be. When you unpacked and washed those tiny newborn clothes and hung them up with love and anticipation for when they would be needed.

Are We Doing Wrong By Our Son?

Jack has always been a bundle of energy, right from the moment he was born. As soon as he could move he was off and hasn't stopped since and to this day he doesn't sleep until he literally crashes out. And we love him for it. He wouldn't be our boy if he didn't give us a fright at least once a week, and he daily gains one scrape or another.

At three months old

My Cleaning Tips For Busy Mums

If you're like me, cleaning your house is something that isn't top of your list of things you want to do but definitely up there on the need list. I am not someone who can sit at home with my kids for too long before we all start going crazy so through the week I'm often out and about trying to keep them entertained, as well as working one day a week and trying to maintain my blog and my YouTube channel. This leaves very little time for cleaning the house, and yet I cannot stand it when it is a mess (which is a lot lately). So over the years I've developed a few cleaning hacks I thought I would share that helps me keep on top of things, for the most part, and still have time to do the things I enjoy.

1. Have a basket or container in each room for toys. I find it so much easier to just whip round at the end of the day and throw whatever is lying around in storage boxes I have in each room, than to try and do a huge sweep and tidy up. It takes all of five minutes to shove the toys away and every now and again when I have more time i go through them all and sort them properly.

2. Get the kids to help. Carrying on from my above point, before the children go to bed, go out to play or play with something else, I try and get them to tidy up what they've already been playing with. I cannot stand walking into a room and every toy we own in the world has been tipped out of it's boxes as it just is so overwhelming to me and the kids to tidy up. The children aren't fans of tidying - who is - but doing it as we go along tends to make it a little easier, plus it teaches them to tidy up their own messes, hopefully saving me a job in the long run. Hopefully.

3. Break down the jobs into smaller tasks. Instead of standing in the house, amidst the chaos, thinking 'oh my goodness I just don't know where to start' (which happens a lot, I might add), I try to break each task down in my mind. So when I get a slot in the day I'll focus on folding the washing, then next time I'll try and put it away, and maybe a time later on I'll whizz the Dyson around. It just makes it feel more manageable in my head if I do it that way, otherwise I'd end up sat on the sofa watching Real Housewives, too overcome to attempt to tackle the mess.

4. Make the beds. It's funny how such a quick thing to is so often overlooked. I've started going into each bedroom each morning and straightening the pillows and pulling the duvet back over the bed and the room instantly looks so much tidier. It is also a lot nicer getting into a made bed on a night.

5. Don't walk past things for another room. There's always something that needs to go in another room, so don't walk out of one spot empty handed. I find this applies particularly when going upstairs - there is always something that needs taking up. I have a basket on the bottom of the stairs for putting things in that need to go u and whilst my children and husband seem to refuse to adopt the habit, I often take things up as I go, and kill two birds with one stone.

I hope those tips have helped just a little bit to try and get on top of your housework, leaving you more time to do the fun things! At the end of the day, our children won't appreciate having a tidy house as much as they will having time with you so try not to let it stress you if your house isn't perfect.

*This is a PR collaboration

The Tiniest Moments Can Be The Most Beautiful

The night is dark - the sun has finally fallen after a long Summer's day. His room is dimly lit from the hallway light, which we keep on as he has a fear of the dark that has somehow been ingrained on him since he was little. He's never been a good sleeper, and that doesn't seem to be changing as he gets older, which makes for a tired mummy.

But still I am here, as I always will be.

An Eighteen Month Age Gap: Four Years On

Four years ago our second baby entered the world. Whilst it had taken four long years, failed treatments and then an unexpected surprise before our first, Holly, came around; Jack was not quite so patient. We didn't plan for such a short age gap, but nevertheless there we were - a newborn in arms and an eighteen month at home.

Surviving Self Catering With Young Children

Over Easter we visited the beautiful town of Moraira in Spain with our family, which included my two younglings, aged three and five. If you have read any of my old posts you will know by now that Jack, aged three, can be a handful. He has systematically trashed our home, run across roads on his own and generally has no sense of danger. So staying in self-catering accommodation with no kids club to lob him in when we needed a moment to catch our breaths, having to clean up and cook for ourselves, not to mention the pool being RIGHT THERE for him to dive head-first into at a moment's notice, was going to be a challenge. But, here we are, six weeks later and not only did we survive but so did he. So how did we do it? Here are my tips.

Keeping Your Kids Entertained

So, it’s almost that time of year - Summer! For our kids, Summer is a joyful time of freedom, fun, and festivities, however for us parents, Summer can be quite the opposite. Out goes the freedom of the school year, when kids are at school most of the day, engaged and entertained and usually coming home exhausted but happy. Now in comes those long days of kids at each other throats, sometimes literally in our house, desperate to play with you despite you still having to work and the age-old cry of "I'm bored".

Things They Don't Tell You About Having A Boy

Having children is both a blessing and a test of your will, but there is something to be said about having boys that makes you turn grey long before you should. I always dreamt of having both sexes and have been fortunate that I got my wish, but nobody really warned quite what to expect when that boy came along. So here's a few words of warning from me to you about the perils of the male of the species.

Living With A Threenager

I was warned when I complained about the terrible twos that threes were even worse. But as I battled with tantrums, refusal do as I asked and fights to get dressed on a morning, I had no idea what was in store for me just around the corner. Ladies and gentleman I introduce...The Threenager.

Reclaiming Myself

Two weeks ago saw me returning to the working world for the first time in six years - before Holly was born, when we emigrated to America. I have been so fortunate to be able to stay at home with my two and be such a huge part of their lives whilst they have been little but I was more than ready to put myself out there again.

An Unperfect Parent

Lately, I have been seen 'perfect' parenting splashed all over social media. Pictures of kids dressed in beautiful outfits, posing with huge smiles, tweets about how amazing their children are, how much parents have sobbed over the thought of them going to school, all the fun things they do together on a daily basis.

It seems like it's just me, sat here, crying my eyes out in frustration almost daily. Pleading with my children for just one minute of peace, a moment where they aren't screaming at each other or me, slapping, fighting, shoving. Traipsing up and down the stairs several times a night, arguing over which car seat they're going to sit in, forcing them to put clothes or shoes on and keep them on. Picking up sweetcorn happily thrown across the carpet, mopping up spilt diffuser oil from my newly cleaned sofa or cleaning up daddy's hair gel they've smeared all over their heads. And the list goes on. And on.

Sometimes, quite often, even regularly, it is just all too damn much. I just want a time out, a pause button. Not to pause those beautiful memories with my precious offspring, to freeze their antics so I can finish a brew. Or that TV show. Or get dressed.

Things were supposed to get easier, they said. After six months, no make that one year, no wait two years. But three years on and that eighteen months age gap is proving challenge after challenge, most of which I seem to fail.

Yes the kids are flourishing, yes they are happy, well fed and of course loved. But damn it if I don't feel like a failure so often. I'll pose those perfect photos, instagramming the hell out of them. I'll blog those sickly sweet letters to my babies who I adore so much. I'll shed a little tear as my big girl starts school. But I know in the back of my head there's the big looming of question of, have I got it all wrong? Am I really cut out to be a parent? Will I make it through the other side?

By god, I hope so. But on days like these, I just don't know.

The Elusive Bedtime

Bedtime - it is definitely a hot topic in the parenting world and often a huge source of stress for any parent. We have always been very fortunate that both our children are relatively good sleepers, but I know many friends who have children who point-blank refuse to sleep through and to who nap times are some elusive goal. Often the pre-bedtime routine can end up in a futile battle that often ends in tantrums or tears. Here are some suggestions for those that are struggling.

source

No More Toddler Tantrums - The Reader's Thoughts

Last week I shared my tips for dealing with toddler tantrums and hopefully finding a way to manage them without losing your sanity along the way. Today I am sharing some advice from my readers, so read on for some more great tips!

No More Toddler Tantrums

We are definitely in the terrible twos with Little J - at two and a half years old we have our fair share of meltdowns and it is always a struggle to teach him what he can and cannot do. I thought today I would share some of my tips in managing those battles and maybe help you deal with these challenging moments in raising our little treasures.

Bento Bashing

Ever since I joined the blogging world over three years ago I've come to know it as an incredible support network. One of the things I love about our community is how so very different we all are and how we come together to celebrate and support those differences.

In today's society we women can be known for being jealous, cruel and downright bitchy towards each other. Where men can have their spats and leave it behind them, women can carry on the dispute for weeks, months and even years. I, for one, am proud to be part of a community that does it best to support each other and encourage the diversity we have.

For the most part.

Tonight I read a post that really saddened me. For some reason one blogger decided to downright attack another blogger for seemingly no other reason than she did not enjoy doing what said blogger did. And she did so on an incredible open forum with no provocation. The topic in mind was Bento Boxes - a recent trend for creating enticing lunchboxes that has become increasingly popular. This harmless hobby, which encourages children to break bad eating habits and try foods they wouldn't normally, was the cause of one woman to viciously attack another.

I realise that because we put ourselves out there for the world to read, we also put ourselves out there for criticism. And I am fine with that - not everyone can agree with each other and I wouldn't want them to. But this article went past 'I don't like this because...', it became personal. Comments such as 'has she no life' and 'Get.A.Job.' are plain derogatory. Whether you agree with someone or not, whether you enjoy the same hobbies or not, what gives any of us the right to go out and attack someone else for something they enjoy? And who are we to judge one anothers skills as a parent? It all seems very playground nastiness to me.

I think as mums we all have enough pressure on us, not mention the inevitable mummy guilt, that the last thing any of us need is pressure from one another. I have found so much support doing something I love, I would be mortified to find it torn to pieces by another blogger for no reason at all.

I really feel that this is something that should not be accepted or tolerated. If you have an opinion, fine, but can we not learn to deliver those opinions in a constructive way that does not rip somebody else's personality to shreds? I really don't see what anyone gets from this kind of article apart from negative attention and a bitter aftertaste.