Out The Other Side

It has been a long and hard few months. I always knew having two children under two was going to be hard, but for various reasons it has been much more difficult than I anticipated.

Now, however, I finally feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead of dragging myself downstairs on a morning, sitting the kids in front of the TV and trying to pull myself together; for the first time in a long time I feel more alert and ready to spend some time with the children. For the past few months I've almost been wishing time away as it has been so hard and now I feel I can appreciate my children again and look forward to spending some quality time with them.

Thank goodness!

Proud

Today I had my first 'proud' moment. Of course, I'm proud of my kids every day, but it was a type of proud brought on by someone else. My first tears to my eyes kind of proud.

Little H has been attending nursery since July. At first she was unsure every time I left her and it has taken her a long time to settle in. Because of this they told me she was very quiet whilst she was there, which came as a surprise as she is such a chatterbox at home!

So today her key worker came out to tell me she had spoken loads today, named all the animals and their noises, shown them what a plane does and joined in with the songs and actions. They then commented on how well she picks things up and said she seems very bright.

Now I know brains aren't everything and it will be far more important to me that my children are happy than them having some high-flying job, but it is lovely to have someone else clarify that they are being successful in their development.

I just feel so proud of the little person we get the privilege of calling daughter. Those few words brought a little lump to my throat.

Too Much Technology?

Not so long ago it used to be the television I worried was taking centre stage in our lives. I would make Mr H turn it off regularly so we could have some time together without the idiot-box blaring into our minds and taking over any human contact we had with each other. But of recent years that has become the least of my worries. In fact if we just have the television on I consider it a nice break from everything else. Since we invested in an iPad and then iPhones the temptation to sit online surfing the web, chatting on Facebook or checking out eBay sales rather than actually interacting with the people around us is starting to concern me. Some nights if we say a few words to each other it's an achievement and I often find myself and Mr H sat on our Apple products leaving the children to entertain themselves.

It's a difficult time. Little H, although a good girl, can be a handful and Baby J is yet to sleep through and wakes at 6.30 every morning. With all that in mind it's hard to muster the energy to drink air out of an empty teacup several hundred times or play peekaboo, hiding behind a fluffy teddy bear.

I know this may sound lazy and probably selfish on my part. Some days I just want to scream 'just give me a minute' at my two innocent and beautiful children. I can't help it. So instead I hide behind my iPad for a few minutes just to try and google my sanity.

But now we are passing our addictions onto the children. Not just the fascination for Mickey Mouse but Little H now demands my iPad or iPhone so she can play 'Toca Boca' (note: I'm not suggesting she always gets her way though). And then there's the inevitable tantrums when I ban her from them. If I dare to put one of my shows on the TV she demands we return to the Disney Channel. When once she loved her books she seems to have lost interest.

It really makes me doubt my parenting. Has exhaustion, stress and a need for a bit of 'me' time turned me into a lazy, unimaginative and a generally bad parent?

I think both Mr H and I need to take a long hard look at ourselves and decide if we really want our children to be led so much by modern technologies. Sure, they can teach them a lot but surely books, role playing and fresh air teaches them far important lessons? Sometimes being a parent is so damn hard, failure seems inevitable.

Mummy Tummy Memoirs: Week Seven

Ok so I missed another week and this is another two-week catch up. Unfortunately in that two weeks I only lost 1lb. Slightly disappointing and I really do need to step up the exercise (and by step up I mean start!). However I am still pleased with where I am up to, my stomach looks much better than it did and the pair of jeans I have on in the photo have just been dug out of the too-skinny suitcase of clothes. The first of many, I hope!

Mummy Tummy Memoirs: Month One

Mummy Tummy Memoirs: Week Five

Well I'm still hitting my target, which is great. Now it's a matter of toning up. I still have the dreaded c-section 'apron' - which is always attractive. I am still a bit too round, shall we say, so I am hoping this will go down to a level I'm happy with. On the whole though, I'm doing ok, I just need to somehow increase my cardio. I'm supposed to be starting a dance class with a friend on Monday...eek!

Project Bungalow

Last weekend was a busy one to say the least. Between my sister, her boyfriend, Mr H and I we spent several hours gardening, painting and sprucing.

Mummy Tummy Memoirs - Week Four

After a busy week last week (post to follow) I missed my Mummy Tummy Memoirs week three post - lets hope this leads to a bigger drop from week two!